After a Long Time

Yes, I am back after a long time. When I started blogging in June last year, I was told "cyber space is littered with abandoned blogs". My blog is alo becoming one of those. I have changed the job and my new job requires me to be in the field most of the time. My internet access is therefore vey limited. Anyhow, I'll continue to add entries on and off. So this is just a welcome back entry.

Nourish Your Soul

Today, I am going to share with you yet another interesting e-mail that I received from a friend. It is a story about a king with four wives. I hope you'll find it interesting. Don't forget to ponder the message for a while, do some soul searching and think about re-defining your priorities in life.

Once upon a time, there was a rich King who had 4 wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to the finest of delicacies. He gave her nothing but the best. He also loved the 3rd wife very much and was always showing her off to neighboring kingdoms. However, he feared that one day that she would leave him for another. He also loved his 2nd wife. She was his confidante and was always kind, considerate and patient with him. Whenever the King faced a problem, he could confide in her to help him get through the difficult times. The King's 1st wife was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and kingdom. However, he did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her. One day, the King fell ill and he knew his time was short.
He thought of his luxurious life and pondered, "I now have 4 wives with me, but when I die, I'll be all alone.

Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I have loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?"

"No way!" replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word.

Her answer cut like a sharp knife right into his heart.

The sad King then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?"

"No!" replied the 3rd wife. "Life is too good! When you die, I'm going to remarry!"

His heart sank and turned cold. He then asked the 2nd wife, "I have always turned to you for help and you've always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?"

"I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only send you to your grave."

Her answer came like a bolt of thunder and the King was devastated.

Then a voice called out: "I'll leave with you and follow you no matter where you go."

The King looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly grieved, the King said, "I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!"

In Truth, we all have 4 wives in our lives ...

Our 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it'll leave us when we die.

Our 3rd wife is our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, it will all go to others.

Our 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how much they have been there for us, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.

And our 1st wife is our Soul, often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the ego. However, our Soul is the only thing that will follow us wherever we go. So cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now! It is your greatest gift to offer the world.

Distraction for Focus – Do You Play Mind Games?

When I am stressed, am unable to find solution of a problem, need to focus on something complex or want to refresh my mind, I play “Free Cell” on my computer. I have a challenge for myself to never let the win ratio drop below 90%. This means winning 9 out of 10 games. This requires full concentration, full focus. People play such mind games for distraction. Though I also get distracted from the task in hand, but I have discovered an interesting phenomena; such distraction helps me to come back strongly to solve the problem, whether it is stress busting or finding solution to a complex problem.

How it works for problem solving?

Well, I think that when we have to find a solution to a problem, and we are unable to make headway, we get frustrated. This frustration impairs our ability to focus and find the solution. This further frustrates us and ……..Thus this negative spiral ensures that we are unable to find the solution.

When I switch to FreeCell in such a situation, my mind relaxes and regains its focus. Further, as I am fully absorbed in FreeCell, my mind “forgets” about the frustration associated with problem in hand. At the same time, the sub-conscious mind, the creative problem solver, continues working on the problem. After about 1-3 games of FreeCell, which normally takes about 4-6 minutes, my mind is fully relaxed, with all frustration vanished but at the same time, able to continue with high levels of focus. My sub-conscious mind guides me to problem solving by revealing to conscious mind the analysis it has done during that 4-6 minutes break. Most of the time, after this 4-6 minutes high concentration FreeCell break (which apparently seems a waste of time and breaking the concentration) I am able to have a clear understanding of the problem and probable good solution(s).

So if you feel that you are unable to make way ahead in solving a problem, take a break. This could be physical, but in that case, your mind will remain occupied with the problem. I suggest to go for a total mental shift; playing a mind game. You will be amazed by the results.

How do you read?

What a strange question it is. How does a person read?. Well, he takes a book or magazine and reads it. That’s it.

I developed a passion for reading at a very early age. Well, to be honest and precise , at a very very early age. I think I was only around 5 years of age when I started reading magazines, novels and digests (in my native language). Since my teens, there is hardly a day when I did not read something. However, most of it was fiction or novels. I turned to serious reading in late teens and early twenties. In my late twenties, I realized that I have developed a great habit of reading, but at the same time, an extremely poor style of reading; I read everything as fiction. I would read everything like a novel, without understanding the deep concepts, noting pearls of wisdom, asking questions, challenging ideas or absorbing the new themes. I realized that I was not getting much from my reading and felt the need to improve my reading style / approach. Since then, I have gradually developed some reading habits that have massively improved my gains from reading. I am sharing these with you so that you can also improve your gains from reading. Here are these:

1. While reading non-fiction books, articles etc, I extensively use pencil. Initially, I used yellow highlighter, but soon realized that it was difficult to use (remove and put on cap before/after every use) and had limited capability to grade texts of different importance. Also, ink of highlighters fades after some time (Yes, I do keep books that long …..).

a. I side line everything important or interesting (worth reading again).

b. I underline everything that is more important. The underlined portion is normally about 20-40% of sidelined portion.

c. Very very important concepts/parts of book are underlined as well as have 1-3 stars on the side.

d. To improve my vocabulary, I put a small dash-line along the line that carries the word. Once or twice a week, I write the sentence along with the meaning of the word in a separate note book and rub off the dash-line.

e. I give every book/article marks out of 100. The marks reflect the importance and usefulness of the book and help me to make selection for re-reading. It normally takes me only 20% of the time compared to first time reading to re-read a book to refresh all the concepts/ideas that I gained from the book. I am very selective in buying non-fiction books and all such books in my library are worth re-reading.

f. I list the books and articles read in two excel files, indicating title, author, time of last reading, marks out of hundred, whether I have hardcopy (for articles) etc. This helps me selecting my re-read material.

None of these reading habits is a rocket science. These all are common sense. But it took me years to find deficiencies in my reading habits and gradually develop habits to have massive gains from my reading. You must also be having some reading practices. Analyse these. Are you getting maximum out of your reading. If not, develop above mentioned reading habits. A 30 days conscious effort to implement these reading habits will put these on auto pilot and yield dividends for rest of your life.